Change.

Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like a stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.

lately I haven't been the strong independent girl that I was before, 

I know that part of me is still alive,

 It's just lately I've been in a hole and it seemed like the more I tried to get out the more I sunk in. 

But I'm thinking that now is the time I can finally get out.

 I'm going to get a second job and hope that I can go back to work (i've been laid off)

 I'll work both jobs, start on my GED and pay off my fine.

And since I recently lost my best friend,

 I'll save so much money since I wont have to pay for her gas or her food anymore.

 Sometimes I swore I was the only one who put gas in that car

. I will miss her sometimes but I know that it's the best for me not to be around her. 

She slowed me down, put me down, and always made me super depressed cause she was always sad,

 So I'm moving on with my life and I'm going to do amazing things.

Anyways.. Than I'm going to look into schools,

 I'm thinking that I wanna become a vet tech, 

 And i'm going to prove everyone who thinks that I cannot do anything right WRONG. 

I'm sorry that I like to have fun, But I'm only young once and I'm living my youth to the fullest.

 I don't want to be one of those old lady's thinking back on my life asking myself why I was so serious all the time. 

I'm hoping that by the time I'm 21 I'll have my ged, house and that i'll be starting school.

I'm tired of everyone looking down on me, I'll still go to parties but as a responsible young lady. 

I'm going to change how my life has been.

 I wish that I would've done this 2 years ago than I'd still have all my money and I'd almost be done with my schooling.

I never thought that I'd feel so bad about the choices I've made, But I'm going to work my ass off to fix the damage that I've done in my life.

I shouldn't have left my job when I was 16 for a boy.. That's when I started slipping down hill.
I stayed with him for 2.5 years and I lost so much of my independence while i was with him.
Even tho I was the only one who paid rent the whole time I was in that house I felt like crapcause I ended up falling back and having to have my mom help me pay rent, till I moved back home.
But This time I'm going to be fine living on my own Not having to pay for everyone else.

Finally I'm Free!

Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; 

and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. 

Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering

"Looking back on what I said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams I had, I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home, So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination."